America, Thanks for Making Kool Klench™ the Number One Anti-Fungal Cream Spread in America!
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America, guess what? You love to vote. With your dollars of course! [put in red and blue dollar signs that come on screen and flash on and off]
And in so doing, you have voted Kool Klench™ as the 45th president of Anti-fungal pastes, spreads, compounds, and balms. Can I get an amen? (now you say: “Amen!”) People all over once again are feeling free to contract fungal infections, all over, because they know Kool Klench™ has got them covered! Literally! (say “Amen!” again)
And fungal infections, this is what Klenchmerica™ has to say to you: Go back to your fungal country and don’t let the anti-fungal door hit your backside on the way out.
Or rather, do let it.
Ask your doctor if Kool Klench™ Fungicide is right for you. Possible side effects include: dizziness, drowsiness, insomnia, nausea and vomiting, redness or rash that is definitely not fungal in nature, loss of perceived bladder control, twelve inch remix, runny james dio, tense flesh, a sneeze, that’s not a soul patch man it’s a live caterpillar under your lip, contractions, orange chicken, free willy, teeth, spontaneous necks, how long has that stain been there?, lack of forgetfullessness, chin pain, disk not ejected properly, severe irreversible fungal infection.
