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  1. Matthew Langland
    December 18, 2016 @ 12:57 am

    Thank you Mr. Carson and all your colleagues for this witty publication and for the use we’ve all been able to put it to. Do you know my brother Dunkin I think he lives in your building he owes me 21 dollar


    • Bernard Carson
      December 18, 2016 @ 1:06 am

      Dear Mr. Langland, thank you very much for your insightful comment.I want you to know, that I am happy for you. I wish nothing but the best for you both. An older version of me. Is she perverted like me? Would she go down on you in a theater? Does she speak eloquently? And would she have your baby? I’m sure she’d make a really excellent mother. The wheels on the bus go round and round. Round and round. Round and round.
      The wheels on the bus go round and round. All ’round the town
      ‘Cause the love that you gave that we made, wasn’t able to make it enough for you to be open wide, no and every time you speak her name does she know how you told me you’d hold me until you died, til you died, but you’re still alive? The wipers on the bus go swish, swish, swish, Swish, swish, swish, Swish, swish, swish. The wipers on the bus go swish, swish, swish. All ’round the town
      You seem very well, things look peaceful, I’m not quite as well, I thought you should know.
      Did you forget about me, Mr. Duplicity?
      I hate to bug you in the middle of dinner. It was a slap in the face how quickly I was replaced. And are you thinking of me when you BLEEP her?
      The driver on the bus goes ‘move on back’, Move on back, Move on back. The driver on the bus goes ‘move on back’. All ’round the town
      ‘Cause the joke that you laid in the bed That was me and I’m not gonna fade As soon as you close your eyes, and you know it
      And every time I scratch my nails Down someone else’s back I hope you feel it.

      Well, can you feel it?

      The people on the bus go up and down
      Up and down
      Up and down
      The people on the bus go up and down
      All ’round the town


  2. Dunkin Weltfellow
    December 18, 2016 @ 2:39 am

    It’s a good product, this. Also let me say I ate a squid tonight but not from a restaurant.


  3. Matthew Langland
    December 18, 2016 @ 8:43 am

    Oh ok can I get a refill on my Sprite


  4. Craig Gunderson
    December 19, 2016 @ 8:03 am

    I was “Country” when Country wasn’t “Kool”.


    • Bernard Carson
      December 19, 2016 @ 8:53 pm

      Well said, Mr. Gunderson! Bravo. However now that Kool Klench™ and its parent corporation own the kopyright© for “kool©” I advise caution in using the term so cavalierly. At any rate if your interest truly is to eschew coolness then we would suggest a return to the conventional spelling anyway. “Kool@” as you probably have guessed is highly favored by Millennials, in no small part due to Kool Klench™’s strong influence in youth culture. Furthermore be advised, after considering this, our legal team has just as we type this gone ahead and kopyrighted© the term “kountry©” to follow the same line of thinking. We just have to be careful not to abbreviate this product line because “KKK Style” is of course already owned by the incoming Chief Strategist and Senior Counselor to the President-Elect of the United States.
      PS Obviously we’ve kopyrighted© kopyright© as well.


      • Craig Gunderson
        December 21, 2016 @ 11:11 am

        I’ll let CoolRock know. @nickwetmore


        • Bernard Carson
          December 21, 2016 @ 8:43 pm

          Thank you Mr. Gunderson. Evidently you did not know that Mr.K (as we fondly call him around the offices), is a board member and majority share holder of our parent corporation, and as such is not only fully entitled to use of the word as it pleases him, but in fact it was he who inspired the naming of our beloved flagship product in the first place. Thank you for your continued concern.


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