Steak. Chicken. Fish. Sausage. You have heard it before. Whatever you call it, they are all preventing you from looking like a million bucks. Don’t you want to look good in your bathing socks next summer? Just between you and the Gnomes, if you want to lose weight how can you rely on all the meat? Well now you can with […]
![My marriage has 99 problems but foot fungus ain’t [sic] one – Kool Klench™ Country Style™ Fungicide](https://hardcheapknock.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/12/Couple.gif "My marriage has 99 problems but foot fungus ain’t [sic] one – Kool Klench™ Country Style™ Fungicide")
But seriously you wanna know what my wife gets so bent outta shape about? That I left a pair of binoculars out on the back porch. I mean come on here!! Well that and the notebook with hourly entries detailing the comings and goings of my back neighbor’s teenage daughter, with complete wardrobe inventory and […]
Cons, we get it. Life in the Slammer ain’t fun. The food is unpalatable, you get no privacy relieving yourself, and the hard water showers are murder on sensitive skin. Worst of all? Big House pillows are flat, uncomfortable, and well, white, as white girls’ backsides. Those days are over! Put your face between the bars […]
– He took a bath with Kool Klench™ Bath Buddies™ Bath Pellets™ and his fungal infection™ was reduced by over 8% immediately four days later! His wife Mergaline said, “I have no idea where it came from, I don’t know anything about it, I was downstairs watching Merican Ninjer Warrior.” Ask your doctor if Kool […]
The dog says, “I don’t remember you smelling like this. I detect strong hints of a Class D Fungal Infection. Here, try this: Kool Klench ™ Fungicide.” Ask your doctor if Kool Klench™ is right for you. Possible side effects include: dizziness, drowsiness, insomnia, nausea and vomiting, redness or rash that is not fungal in nature, […]
Reproduced herein, a fun bit of nostalgia from the days when Hard Cheap Knock™ was an analog, paper-based publication known as Hard Children’s Knock™; being our earliest attempt at revenue-raising and army-building predating the HK GEAR Dhoti points program by about what guys? 18 years? Sadly, it wasn’t the prohibitively expensive operation of this mail-in rewards […]
HCK INTER-OFFICE MEMO FROM: Jerry Kertzman, Creative Director RE: New GS BOS TV Spot Hey gang, here’s our brief for the new prime-time slot commersh. After last business team meeting Mr. Boseman has a royale H-On for targeting young, athletic, fit, successful well-groomed Millennials and R&D has determined Kung Fu is the GO-TO aesthetic for […]
Like a million vanilla said girl you know, it’s true.* – Kool Klench™ *Ask your doctor if Kool Klench is right for you. Possible side-effects include: forgetfulness, dizziness, drowsiness, insomnia, nausea and vomiting, allergic reactions, heart problems, dependence, forgetfulness, restless leg syndrome, restless genital syndrome, forgetfulness, droopy eyelids, lazy eyes, lazy ears, tinnitus, colorful urine, forgetfulness, […]
Tell your top associates it’s Sales Before Salad Dressing. SBSD. Every time. Kool Klench.
