PSA: Turtle Flyers in the Wild!

Guys, I don’t quite know what to make of this, but I’m pretty sure it’s illegal and it needs to stop. I’m posting this in the hopes that our intrepid readers saw something and are willing to say something for the sake of their favorite Hard Cheap Knock hunks.

I was walking my dog in my neighborhood this week. Whilst bending over to scoop up a steamy pile of poopy, I stood erect, and my eyes landed squarely upon THIS posted on a light pole:

Someone is seriously fucking with us, and I can’t even get my brain around it. What would someone have to gain by making bad photocopies of our old DeKalb flyers and posting them where they think I would see them? Is this our I Know What You Did Last Summer? Sarah Michelle Gellar has been in the press a lot lately AND Flippy is binging a lot of Buffy.

You should know that this particular flyer got us into a bit of hot water back in the day with the copyright lawyers over at TMNT, LLC. Luckily our own team, famed law firm Hart, Chapman, & Knox, was able to settle out of court. Irregardless, we don’t need this kind of heat today! I’m not exactly swimming in Offerfooksake royalties up in here, if you know what I mean.

That said, I know what you’re thinking: “Oh I get it… You slackers haven’t posted in like 3 years and now you’re drumming up some made-up conspiracy to get attention!” To which I say, “Not so fast, you Zoomer punk!” If I were making this up, you KNOW I would have TOTALLY put a Satch graffiti on that brick wall!

You think I don’t got one ready to go?!?:

So eat a dick.

I will get to the bottom of this or, more likely, ride the wave of it and continue to deny it. Either way, you haven’t heard the last of the HCK Flyers in the Wild Conundrum! Mark my words! And if it’s actually YOU Jonny Assdirt, I didn’t have your car towed, so back the f- off.