Bernard Carson
About Bernard Carson
Posts by Bernard Carson:
Manhattan Business Stories No.4
A hearty “Yo!” to all you faithful, youthful Hardgonauts out there! Males ages 13-35 and Females age 18! We here at the celebrated Knockquarters have heard your clarion calls and hereby respond in the mightiest, brightiest, but in no way contritiest way imaginable, and we can imagine ALOT! “Check” it: Straight “outta” the Compton […]
Hard Cheap Knock Documentary Series: Innovations in Print Media
The astonishing story of how Hard Cheap Knock pioneered Inner Eyelid Printing™… For decades Hard Cheap Knock has been pushing boundaries and exploring vanguard ideas in art, humor, comics, fictional ads, funny looking characters, inside jokes, commerce, soft playpen netting, erotica, and literature. But what few readers not in the industry know is that before […]
A soldier home from Iraq is reunited with his dog and you wont believe what happens next – Kool Klench™
The dog says, “I don’t remember you smelling like this. I detect strong hints of a Class D Fungal Infection. Here, try this: Kool Klench ™ Fungicide.” Ask your doctor if Kool Klench™ is right for you. Possible side effects include: dizziness, drowsiness, insomnia, nausea and vomiting, redness or rash that is not fungal in nature, […]
This is what we looked like circa 1982, when newsprint was media
You can imagine my delight/disappointment when, while desperately tearing apart the attic in search of my September 1984 issue of Penthouse, the one with Traci Lords, I instead came across this little gem of pre-history. Since I mentioned in a recent post, in passing, that we used to be a print publication, many an astute […]
Let the Everlasting and Cleansing Light of Holy Commerce Wed within my Consuming Heart the two Celestial Lovers, Value and Quality.
Reproduced herein, a fun bit of nostalgia from the days when Hard Cheap Knock™ was an analog, paper-based publication known as Hard Children’s Knock™; being our earliest attempt at revenue-raising and army-building predating the HK GEAR Dhoti points program by about what guys? 18 years? Sadly, it wasn’t the prohibitively expensive operation of this mail-in rewards […]