The dog says, “I don’t remember you smelling like this. I detect strong hints of a Class D Fungal Infection. Here, try this: Kool Klench ™ Fungicide.” Ask your doctor if Kool Klench™ is right for you. Possible side effects include: dizziness, drowsiness, insomnia, nausea and vomiting, redness or rash that is not fungal in nature, […]
Let the Everlasting and Cleansing Light of Holy Commerce Wed within my Consuming Heart the two Celestial Lovers, Value and Quality.
Reproduced herein, a fun bit of nostalgia from the days when Hard Cheap Knock™ was an analog, paper-based publication known as Hard Children’s Knock™; being our earliest attempt at revenue-raising and army-building predating the HK GEAR Dhoti points program by about what guys? 18 years? Sadly, it wasn’t the prohibitively expensive operation of this mail-in rewards […]
TELL YOUR DARLING THE SMELL OF SWEAT IS THAT OF DEATH. AND NOT THAT CUTE FRENCH “LITTLE DEATH.” – GENTLE SWELL™ BODY ODOR SUPPRESSOR
HCK INTER-OFFICE MEMO FROM: Jerry Kertzman, Creative Director RE: New GS BOS TV Spot Hey gang, here’s our brief for the new prime-time slot commersh. After last business team meeting Mr. Boseman has a royale H-On for targeting young, athletic, fit, successful well-groomed Millennials and R&D has determined Kung Fu is the GO-TO aesthetic for […]
Like a million vanilla said girl you know, it’s true.* – Kool Klench™ *Ask your doctor if Kool Klench is right for you. Possible side-effects include: forgetfulness, dizziness, drowsiness, insomnia, nausea and vomiting, allergic reactions, heart problems, dependence, forgetfulness, restless leg syndrome, restless genital syndrome, forgetfulness, droopy eyelids, lazy eyes, lazy ears, tinnitus, colorful urine, forgetfulness, […]
Tell your top associates it’s Sales Before Salad Dressing. SBSD. Every time. Kool Klench.
Your Spirit Animal is Yourself. – Kool Klench.
Maximum S.F.W. – Kool Klench.