Super Dick Move™ Puppies – A What if Commentary

Seems like lately scientists are discovering new planets left and right. Well what if they discovered a new world that consisted entirely of puppies? We’re talking the cutest fucking puppies you’ve ever seen. No adult dogs – just pure puppies. They had a society based on puppy needs and as far as you knew were content with life. And what if you were chosen to explore this puppy world and observe the ongoings and what not? Pretty exciting right? WELL, what if these cute, little, fucking puppies were super jerks? We’re talking rude, mean, super dick move™ kind of puppies. Quite shocking.

The would say mean things in their puppy language which was indiscernible by humans but you just get the feeling it was uncalled for. Including eye rolling and puppy putdowns. They would leave discarded newspapers around (yes they would have some sort of puppy reporting but it all be horrible stories – think puppy on puppy violence.) They’d play loud puppy music way too late (yes there was puppy music but not what we think of music). They would not hold doors open for other puppies (yes they would have some sort of infrastructure that had doors and windows but it was rudely constructed.) Totally classic dick more on their part for sure. They’d deceive other puppies out of paychecks (yes there were puppy jobs but not what we would consider work). They would be super crass and disrespectful to elder puppies. I know puppies cannot be considered older or they would be dogs but it’s just another one of those things in this god foresaken, hateful puppy world, I’m sorry to say.

What if.

Any puppies resembling any famous or political puppies is purely incidental.


"Last night i felt whale arms around me." - The Smiths


  1. Matthew Langland
    June 3, 2016 @ 5:47 pm

    There’s a family across the street from us that plays loud puppy music, way too late. And they smoke puppy cigarettes right under my bedroom window can you help


    • Flippycrap
      July 23, 2016 @ 1:32 pm

      Apologies for the late response Mister Langland. The “What If Super Dick Move Puppies” post was a commentary on how we treat ourselves and others. This was then juxtapositioned upon a cute, adorable puppy based scenario. Your situation although dire in nature should not be confused with here or there. But it would be best if you acquired a sample of the puppy cigarette to make sure there is not anything harmful occurring within your neighborhood.


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