Let the Everlasting and Cleansing Light of Holy Commerce Wed within my Consuming Heart the two Celestial Lovers, Value and Quality.
Reproduced herein, a fun bit of nostalgia from the days when Hard Cheap Knock™ was an analog, paper-based publication known as Hard Children’s Knock™; being our earliest attempt at revenue-raising and army-building predating the HK GEAR Dhoti points program by about what guys? 18 years? Sadly, it wasn’t the prohibitively expensive operation of this mail-in rewards program but rather all the pesky child labor laws we violated which ultimately shut it down, circa what guys? 1982? Pity. Ha! No not really! Just kidding! Happy Humpday readers! And the next time your Mom’s STUPID BOYFRIEND COMES INTO YOUR ROOM TELL HIM NO GARY, I WILL NOT SHAVE YOUR SCROTUM FOR YOU, YOU’RE NOT MY REAL DAD