HCK Movie Digestion: Rogue One

Wow the wait is over and what a movie it twas! Full of surprises and action! Just want to digest and share some interesting tidbits about Rogue One or Pícaro Uno for our Spanish speaking viewers. If you have not seen it yet, old blue milk (leche azul) spoilers lie ahead. This is your last chance to visit another page. You have been warned!

Quick synopsis before we get into the hardcore fan stuff. So this girl Gin Erso (AKA Beaver Teeth – I’ll get into that later) is the daughter of her dad, Mr. Erso, who likes to build death stars. So the rebels want to use her to get to her dad and kill him and or get the plans and kill him which ever happens first. This one rebel guy Cascade Menudo (or Sergio McAccent) takes her to find Forest Whittaker. And doing so they meet a hilarious blind space kung foo guy, Churro, who gets in all sorts of trouble because of his kung fu stick. And a guy, 96.3 the Blaze, who keeps saying “I can’t find my comb” to a point where it gets annoying. They all make a pack & leave the planet Jemima as it kinda explodes courtesy of the fancy fresh Death Star. So they all are in it to win it. After the plans are copied to a zip disk, some rebels get their alliance asses handed to them by Darth Vader but not before they give the aforementioned plans to a wax Princess Leia. And now to the good stuff.

So I know a lot of people were surprised and amazed by the computer animation of characters in the movie. I certainly was! It is so wonderful how that they can emulate a dead or a living person this way. We have come a long way from the Whoopi Goldberg claymation in Ghost and Sister Act Two (Dos). So of course I am talking about General Draven of the Rebel Alliance played by none other than a CG Kelsey Grammer! After studying countless episodes of Cheers and Frasier they executed his trademark forehead and pompous attitude. Tremendous! Kudos to you ILM!  Plus it was a nice way to continue to connect the Cheers™ universe to the Star Wars universe. If you didn’t know Cliff Clavin, the lovable know-it-all United States Postal Service employee who hung out at the bar on Cheers™, was a rebel on the Hoth base in Empire Strikes Back. It always felt like a loose end but director Gareth Edwards was able to connect them together after 36 years. Wowee!

One thing that people are not talking about is how it was such a bold move to have the great actor, Forest Whitaker, play himself in the movie. Although he went by the nickname – Saw Gerrera which threw everyone off – it was all Forest. From his janky eye to just being fucking nuts Whitaker was in the hizhouse! Many do not know this but Forest has asthma and he badly wanted to work it into the movie to raise awareness. So in true Star Wars fashion they long-time-agoed the asthma into a cool breathing apparatus. Stupendous! And in real life Forest does actually have robot feet but he never likes to talk about in interviews which is refreshing! In fact they have to CG regular feet on him in all his other roles. If you look closely at this scene from 1987’s Good Morning Vietnam you can totally notice the CG feet as the technology was not as good as it is today.

As you have heard there were a lot of reshoots for this film. All to help make it great no doubt. We are first hearing now of a specific scene that was reshot. If you recall the snooty Orson Krennic paid Darth Vader a visit on Mustafar. Since Krennic arrived during Vader’s Bacta Tank soak, Vader had to quickly get out to make sure Krennic didn’t think he was weak or a bad host – manners help bind the galaxy together you know! So apparently Vader originally comes out in his thick, wet bacta shorts, helmet and cape only (as seen it this early sketch). Krennic has to ignore this as not to embarrass Vader. So awkwardly Krennic goes on about he wants to make sure the Emperor knows he is doing good job. Then Krennic says something like, “Well I hope you had a nice bath” or something to that effect but it was very snarky. Vader uses the force to sense the sarcasm and instead of the air choking that we saw in the final cut, he gets super up close to Krennic and says, “You don’t know the power of my pruny fingers”. And rubs them in his face just to be an asshole. Because you have to fight sarcasm with dickmovery. But I do think I know what they were going for. Trying to humanize what was left of Vader with something we all get – no matter what universe we are in. Alas we did not get to see his fingers – something I have wanted to see since Empire Strikes Back.

Oh this is cute. Did you know this movie was almost called Beaver Teeth  –  A Star Wars Story? The lovely actress Felicity Jones, who plays Gin Erso, has a very unique feature about her. Yup its her 2 front beaver teeth. Hey I’m not complaining at all. She must be able to destroy corn on the cob like nobody’s business. And I wouldn’t kick her out of bed for making a dam if you know what I mean. But anyways in the movie they actually made the younger version of her character have her pronounced biters as well for continuity. No fooling. And in the dramatic scene when the rebels were re-stealing the imperial cargo ship, the Yavin 4 base control tower asks what their call sign was. And Boobie Ton Loc (or Tony as I like to call him) is spazzing out trying to think of what to say. And when Gin Erso looks at him and tells him to “say something” he focuses on her choppers and says, “Beaver Teeth”. But as you know now they changed it as it was not “starwarsy” enough and animal right activists gave them shit about it.

And last but not least if you recall The Force Awakens film that came out in 2015 had a celebrity cameo. Dan Craig of James Bond fame played a New Order stormtrooper. Although helmeted, it was unmistakably Craig with his sexy voice. And to continue that tradition Rogue One has their own albeit a bit more obvious. Towards the end of the movie Darth Vader orders a landing party to an imperial officer. That officer is none other than Mr. Macgyver himself – Richard Dean Anderson. Oh I almost cried when I saw him. Turns out Mr. Anderson is a huge Star Wars nerd and director Gareth Edwards a huge Macgyver/Stargate SG1 fan. Talk about peanut butter and chocolate! Our very own Gundy here denies it but I swear to god it is him. Just watch for it!

So like I said an amazing movie! Go see Rogue One!