“Finalize these new client proposals and have an updated budget report on my desk by end of business.” – George S. Patton, Jr. – Kool Klench ™


Real leadership doesn’t come from a can, dipshit*.   – Kool Klench™.

*Ask your doctor if Kool Klench is right for you. Possible side effects include: dizziness, drowsiness, insomnia, nausea and vomiting, reduced visible spectrum, ankles instead of wrists, shirt tightness, hearing things backwards, fungal infections, bruises in the distinct shape of Kool Klench ™ business logo appearing in areas of the body where a mirror is necessary to see them, unexpected breath odors, tight nostrils, spreaded out fingers, confusion, bizarre love triangle, not the bees, not the bees, what’s in the box? what’s in the box?, lettuce, smoothness, did you try turning it off and on again, ordinary dreams, reverse baldness. N.W.A approved.

Bernard Carson

(Former) Chief Tech, Business and Spirituality Editor for Blood Lust Digest. (Former) Head of the Sandwhich Station at the Black Dung Township Angelo's Italian Restaurant. Answerer of the 5th Unknown Question. Founder and 13th Level Grand Maxiform Valuator of Omnichon Superionics, which is not a cult. IT'S NOT A CULT

One Comment

  1. Matthew Langland
    May 26, 2016 @ 9:56 pm

    Thank you for your product and the use we’ve all been able to put it to. Do you know my brother Dunkin I think he lives in your building. He owes me 12 dollar.


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