“Finalize these new client proposals and have an updated budget report on my desk by end of business.” – George S. Patton, Jr. – Kool Klench ™

Real leadership doesn’t come from a can, dipshit*.   – Kool Klench™. *Ask your doctor if Kool Klench is right for you. Possible side effects include: dizziness, drowsiness, insomnia, nausea and vomiting, reduced visible spectrum, ankles instead of wrists, shirt tightness, hearing things backwards, fungal infections, bruises in the distinct shape of Kool Klench ™ business logo […]


Neal’s Corner #1 – Bucket List Game!

Hiiiiiiii. I’m Neal McDoogin. Spell it anyway you waaant just don’t call me laaate for diiiinner. Esmowa. That was a joke. Welcome to my first Neal’s Corner. Enough chiiiiit chaaaat. I now plaaaay fun game that you play can too. It is called Bucket Liiiiist – please play at home for you are safety. But please no write directly […]


You can help prevent the spread of mosquito-borne diseases. – Kool Klench™.

Like a million vanilla said girl you know, it’s true.* – Kool Klench™ *Ask your doctor if Kool Klench is right for you. Possible side-effects include: forgetfulness, dizziness, drowsiness, insomnia, nausea and vomiting, allergic reactions, heart problems, dependence, forgetfulness, restless leg syndrome, restless genital syndrome, forgetfulness, droopy eyelids, lazy eyes, lazy ears, tinnitus, colorful urine, forgetfulness, […]


Super Dick Move™ Puppies – A What if Commentary

Seems like lately scientists are discovering new planets left and right. Well what if they discovered a new world that consisted entirely of puppies? We’re talking the cutest fucking puppies you’ve ever seen. No adult dogs – just pure puppies. They had a society based on puppy needs and as far as you knew were content with life. And what […]


Lost Hard Knock – The 2000 Hard Knock Gear Catalog

Part of our agreement with the law firm we keep on retainer, Hart, Chapman, & Knox, is that we are required to keep meticulous records. All Hard Knock intellectual property needs to be catalogued, scanned, backed up, backed up off-site, or destroyed (on the occasion we need to rewrite a bit of history). Recently I was […]

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