Possible 2016 Olympic Recap With Satch™

Well it has been about 4 weeks (since August 21st) and Satch is finally back from the 2016 olympics. Shit. Really 4 weeks? But to be honest in Satch™ time that is only like 13 hours. But that is neither here nor there as I don’t want to get into Satch’s time x speed = Satch business. […]

Kool Klench Bath Buddies A

This senior woke up with a fungal infection covering over 100% of his body. What happened next will make your G.D. jaw drop. Kool Klench™ Bath Buddies™

– He took a bath with Kool Klench™ Bath Buddies™ Bath Pellets™ and his fungal infection™ was reduced by over 8% immediately four days later! His wife Mergaline  said, “I have no idea where it came from, I don’t know anything about it, I was downstairs watching Merican Ninjer Warrior.” Ask your doctor if Kool […]


Hard Cheap Knock Documentary Series: Innovations in Print Media

The astonishing story of how Hard Cheap Knock pioneered Inner Eyelid Printing™… For decades Hard Cheap Knock has been pushing boundaries and exploring vanguard ideas in art, humor, comics, fictional ads, funny looking characters, inside jokes, commerce, soft playpen netting, erotica, and literature. But what few readers not in the industry know is that before […]


A soldier home from Iraq is reunited with his dog and you wont believe what happens next – Kool Klench™

The dog says, “I don’t remember you smelling like this. I detect strong hints of a Class D Fungal Infection. Here, try this: Kool Klench ™ Fungicide.” Ask your doctor if Kool Klench™ is right for you. Possible side effects include: dizziness, drowsiness, insomnia, nausea and vomiting, redness or rash that is not fungal in nature, […]


BREAKING NEWS: Satch™ IS THE 2016 Olympic Mascot!

    Hard>Cheap<Knock would like to finally announce that its very own Satch™ has been selected as the mascot for the 2016 Summer Olympics in Rio, Brazil. We are so proud of Satch™ and his nose. We had to withhold revealing any information as secrecy was of the upmost importance for not to spoil the excitement this will cause […]


Let the Everlasting and Cleansing Light of Holy Commerce Wed within my Consuming Heart the two Celestial Lovers, Value and Quality.

Reproduced herein, a fun bit of nostalgia from the days when Hard Cheap Knock™ was an analog, paper-based publication known as Hard Children’s Knock™; being our earliest attempt at revenue-raising and army-building predating the HK GEAR Dhoti points program by about what guys? 18 years? Sadly, it wasn’t the prohibitively expensive operation of this mail-in rewards […]

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