We know the galaxy is a filthy place. Black droids have it easy! No one sees all that grime and carbon scoring on their dark-colored chassis. Owners of white droids, we hear your cries and we have the answers to your prayers.
Enjoy going to the movies? Enjoy things that are worth 100 dollars? Enjoy Star Wars? Enjoy things that rhyme with dannango? Well you should then enter our Last Jedi Countdown for a chance to win a $100 Fandango Gift card. Just click below on the call to action device that says “Click here to enter”. After […]
Hey there little gal, you didn’t think we forgot about you, did you? We hear you down there, Kabe, just below the edge of the bar, squeaking for a nice refreshing beverage. But what happened once that giant drink was in your tiny Chadra-Fan hands? The staff at Chalmun’s Mos Eisley Cantina has heard your “SKWEEEEE!” […]
Hello moof milkers! It’s officially 50 days to Star Wars Episode 8 – the Last Jedi! We at Hardcheapknock are quite excited and we’ll help count it down everyday with some sort of Starwarsy post because we love it so much. And in addition we are having a contest! A contest you say. Why yes a […]
But seriously you wanna know what my wife gets so bent outta shape about? That I left a pair of binoculars out on the back porch. I mean come on here!! Well that and the notebook with hourly entries detailing the comings and goings of my back neighbor’s teenage daughter, with complete wardrobe inventory and […]
Cons, we get it. Life in the Slammer ain’t fun. The food is unpalatable, you get no privacy relieving yourself, and the hard water showers are murder on sensitive skin. Worst of all? Big House pillows are flat, uncomfortable, and well, white, as white girls’ backsides. Those days are over! Put your face between the bars […]
This senior woke up with a fungal infection covering over 100% of his body. What happened next will make your G.D. jaw drop. Kool Klench™ Bath Buddies™
– He took a bath with Kool Klench™ Bath Buddies™ Bath Pellets™ and his fungal infection™ was reduced by over 8% immediately four days later! His wife Mergaline said, “I have no idea where it came from, I don’t know anything about it, I was downstairs watching Merican Ninjer Warrior.” Ask your doctor if Kool […]
A soldier home from Iraq is reunited with his dog and you wont believe what happens next – Kool Klench™
The dog says, “I don’t remember you smelling like this. I detect strong hints of a Class D Fungal Infection. Here, try this: Kool Klench ™ Fungicide.” Ask your doctor if Kool Klench™ is right for you. Possible side effects include: dizziness, drowsiness, insomnia, nausea and vomiting, redness or rash that is not fungal in nature, […]
Let the Everlasting and Cleansing Light of Holy Commerce Wed within my Consuming Heart the two Celestial Lovers, Value and Quality.
Reproduced herein, a fun bit of nostalgia from the days when Hard Cheap Knock™ was an analog, paper-based publication known as Hard Children’s Knock™; being our earliest attempt at revenue-raising and army-building predating the HK GEAR Dhoti points program by about what guys? 18 years? Sadly, it wasn’t the prohibitively expensive operation of this mail-in rewards […]