BREAKING NEWS: Satch™ IS THE 2016 Olympic Mascot!



Hard>Cheap<Knock would like to finally announce that its very own Satch™ has been selected as the mascot for the 2016 Summer Olympics in Rio, Brazil. We are so proud of Satch™ and his nose. We had to withhold revealing any information as secrecy was of the upmost importance for not to spoil the excitement this will cause the general populace.

Satch™ is well known for his work in HardKnock # 1 – find the different Satch™. As well as for his signature signoff “Good Night Everybody” in PORCHCHOP – FLYING DHOTI. Plus for his infrequent anger spells and how he loves that song Rio by Duran Duran.

The 2016 Summer Olympic branding board contacted Satch™ just last year for an opportunity of a lifetime. The team wanted to go in a different mascot direction this year and they sure as hell did. The typical cartoony abstract mascots have been so played out in olympic history.

“Satch™ was a ‘breath’ of fresh air” – said the committee. They felt Satch™ epitomized all the attributes of an olympian and what a human can and should be. Satch™ even agreed to change his everyday acronym temporarily from Succulent / Angry / Turnip / Celery / Hoagie / to the following: SolitudeAngry / Truthful / Courageousness / Heath Bars

But the board respectfully declined.

Satch™ is no doubt busy with the upcoming games but was able to supply us with this audio comment:

Well, I gotta say. I am very pleased with the outcome of this. Who knew that Satch™ from Yonkers could make it to…the olympics. I am blessed. And full of… joy and…a little anger. Because you know, I’m Satch, that’s what I do. I guess I gotta learn Portuguese!

So once they locked in Satch™ the grueling design process began to graphically capture Satch’s essence and fortitude into an icon. Fortunately FlippyCrap Design volunteered to take on the challenge – pro bono to boot. Flippy, the head designer, said it was a challenge initially. “We wanted to hold on to the equity of what makes Satch great. His humongous nose. His rag tag hair substrate. But steer clear of his curious, unprompted anger. We always like to push the design envelope and show our clients a range of options. If our clients get uncomfortable, so be it. This way it hones them in to what they really want in their hearts. Every part of the final Satch™ mark has a meaning. From his gigantic nose to his “textured” head. We are all pleased with how it turned out.”

HardCheapKnock is delighted to share early executions, the final mark and some conceptual applications which will all be real within the coming weeks. Congratulations to Satch™!!! or should we say Parabéns Satch ™ !!!

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"Last night i felt whale arms around me." - The Smiths


  1. Neal Mcdoogin
    July 18, 2016 @ 7:56 am

    Esmowa to you Saaaatch. If it wasn’t gonna be me you are ok choice. Esmowaaaaa.


  2. Matthew Langland
    July 18, 2016 @ 11:03 am

    Esmowa also to FlippyCrap Design for being chosen to design the icon. Although it comes as no surprise! Hey can you also do my kid’s Bar Mitzvah? sincerely


  3. Matthew Langland
    July 18, 2016 @ 11:05 am

    PS – BTW, Since Mr, Neal M. is participating in the 2016 Summer Olympics I believe that makes him ineligible to qualify as mascot. Maybe next time Neal!
    But good luck and get the USA a GOLD one!


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