Author: Bernard Carson


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  Cons, we get it. Life in the Slammer ain’t fun. The food is unpalatable, you get no privacy relieving yourself, and the hard water showers are murder on sensitive skin. Worst of all? Big House pillows are flat, uncomfortable, and well, white, as white girls’ backsides. Those days are over! Put your face between the bars […]

Kool Klench Bath Buddies A

This senior woke up with a fungal infection covering over 100% of his body. What happened next will make your G.D. jaw drop. Kool Klench™ Bath Buddies™

– He took a bath with Kool Klench™ Bath Buddies™ Bath Pellets™ and his fungal infection™ was reduced by over 8% immediately four days later! His wife Mergaline  said, “I have no idea where it came from, I don’t know anything about it, I was downstairs watching Merican Ninjer Warrior.” Ask your doctor if Kool […]


Manhattan Business Stories No.4

  A hearty “Yo!” to all you  faithful, youthful Hardgonauts out there! Males ages 13-35 and Females age 18! We here at the celebrated Knockquarters have heard your clarion calls and hereby respond in the mightiest, brightiest, but in no way contritiest way imaginable, and we can imagine ALOT! “Check” it: Straight “outta” the Compton […]


Hard Cheap Knock Documentary Series: Innovations in Print Media

The astonishing story of how Hard Cheap Knock pioneered Inner Eyelid Printing™… For decades Hard Cheap Knock has been pushing boundaries and exploring vanguard ideas in art, humor, comics, fictional ads, funny looking characters, inside jokes, commerce, soft playpen netting, erotica, and literature. But what few readers not in the industry know is that before […]


A soldier home from Iraq is reunited with his dog and you wont believe what happens next – Kool Klench™

The dog says, “I don’t remember you smelling like this. I detect strong hints of a Class D Fungal Infection. Here, try this: Kool Klench ™ Fungicide.” Ask your doctor if Kool Klench™ is right for you. Possible side effects include: dizziness, drowsiness, insomnia, nausea and vomiting, redness or rash that is not fungal in nature, […]

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