Author: Bernard Carson

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Tractors

Tractors. Tractors. Tractors. Tractors! Tractors. Tractors. Tractors. Tractors! Tractors! Tractors. Tractors. Tractors. Tractors! Tractors! Tractors. Tractors. Tractors. Tractors!   TRACTORS! TRACTORS! TRACTORS! TRACTORS! TRACTORS! TRACTORS! TRACTORS! TRACTORS! TRACTORS! TRACTORS! TRACTORS! TRACTORS! TRACTORS! Tractors. Tractors. Tractors. Tractors! Tractors. Tractors. Tractors. Tractors! Tractors. Tractors. Tractors. Tractors! Tractors. Tractors. Tractors. Tractors. Tractors. Tractors. Tractors! Tractors. Tractors. Tractors. Tractors! […]

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Old Comics / Lost (and Found) Hard Knock

I do hope you all realize that I am not only an exceedingly busy man but also an extraordinarily fastidious one as well. If it takes me six hours to properly tie a Half Windsor knot then I will most certainly damn well take the time, your second daughter’s second wedding be damned. As I […]

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Paid Advertisement

  Cons, we get it. Life in the Slammer ain’t fun. The food is unpalatable, you get no privacy relieving yourself, and the hard water showers are murder on sensitive skin. Worst of all? Big House pillows are flat, uncomfortable, and well, white, as white girls’ backsides. Those days are over! Put your face between the bars […]

Kool Klench Bath Buddies A

This senior woke up with a fungal infection covering over 100% of his body. What happened next will make your G.D. jaw drop. Kool Klench™ Bath Buddies™

– He took a bath with Kool Klench™ Bath Buddies™ Bath Pellets™ and his fungal infection™ was reduced by over 8% immediately four days later! His wife Mergaline  said, “I have no idea where it came from, I don’t know anything about it, I was downstairs watching Merican Ninjer Warrior.” Ask your doctor if Kool […]

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Manhattan Business Stories No.4

  A hearty “Yo!” to all you  faithful, youthful Hardgonauts out there! Males ages 13-35 and Females age 18! We here at the celebrated Knockquarters have heard your clarion calls and hereby respond in the mightiest, brightiest, but in no way contritiest way imaginable, and we can imagine ALOT! “Check” it: Straight “outta” the Compton […]

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