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A soldier home from Iraq is reunited with his dog and you wont believe what happens next – Kool Klench™

KOOL KLENCH Dog Reunion

The dog says, “I don’t remember you smelling like this. I detect strong hints of a Class D Fungal Infection. Here, try this: Kool Klench ™ Fungicide.”

Ask your doctor if Kool Klench™ is right for you. Possible side effects include: dizziness, drowsiness, insomnia, nausea and vomiting, redness or rash that is not fungal in nature, more like poison oak really, peanut awareness, under arms, sweatiness, my god the sweatiness, extreme pain like dear lord satan make it stop, klondike bar, bent ear, dennis, head on the door, tick tock and you do stop, can I get a witness, degflinction, sttax gibly, sshhh tk, sshhh tk, do you want to ride in my merecedes boy, wow you just enhanced my banking experience, I fought the law and I got hung, or I guess it’s more correct to say hanged, here just use a sock to wipe that up, is that freedom rock, well turn it up dude, no my brother you’ll have to buy your own, coughing at work.

 

Bernard Carson

(Former) Chief Tech, Business and Spirituality Editor for Blood Lust Digest. (Former) Head of the Sandwhich Station at the Black Dung Township Angelo's Italian Restaurant. Answerer of the 5th Unknown Question. Founder and 13th Level Grand Maxiform Valuator of Omnichon Superionics, which is not a cult. IT'S NOT A CULT

5 Comments

  1. Matthew Langland
    July 21, 2016 @ 12:40 pm

    Thank you Mr. Carson and all your colleagues for this witty publication and for the use we’ve all been able to put it to. Do you know my brother Dunkin I think he lives in your building he owes me 16 dollar

    Reply

    • Bernard Carson
      July 21, 2016 @ 12:42 pm

      Dear Mr. Langland, thank you very much for your insightful comment. Maybe I’m all messed up. Maybe I’m all messed up. Maybe I’m all messed up in you. Maybe I’m all messed up. This is the only time I really feel alive. This is the only time I really feel alive.
      This is the only time I really feel alive. This is the only time I really feel alive.
      Maybe I’m all messed up. Maybe I’m all messed up. Maybe I’m all messed up in you. Maybe I’m all messed up.
      This is the only time I really feel alive.
      This is the only time I really feel alive. This is the only time I really feel alive.
      Maybe I’m all messed up. Maybe I’m all messed up. Maybe I’m all messed up in you. Maybe I’m all messed up.
      This is the only time I really feel alive.
      This is the only time I really feel alive. This is the only time I really feel alive.
      Maybe I’m all messed up. Maybe I’m all messed up. Maybe I’m all messed up in you. Maybe I’m all messed up.
      This is the only time I really feel alive.
      This is the only time I really feel alive. This is the only time I really feel alive.
      Maybe I’m all messed up. Maybe I’m all messed up. Maybe I’m all messed up in you. Maybe I’m all messed up.
      This is the only time I really feel alive.
      This is the only time I really feel alive. This is the only time I really feel alive.

      Reply

  2. Dave Janicek
    July 21, 2016 @ 1:10 pm

    Dear Kool Klench-
    Now I have everyday dennis – long story but from my Mom’s side of the family. Will Kool Klench’s side effects cancel out my existing dennis?

    just dealing with dennis,
    dave

    Reply

    • Bernard Carson
      July 21, 2016 @ 1:48 pm

      Dear Mr. Janicek, to best answer your question I would need to see as many photos of your everyday dennis as possible. Close ups, side-views and then maybe 6 or 7 including your face and full body. Also any tattoos would be extremely useful, in fact if you could get a few before sending me photos that would be greatly appreciated. The bathroom is a great room of the house to take photos in but also if you have some, you know, “candid” shots like at the grocery store or on the way to work. Maybe you can get a friend to take some for you, and pretend like you don’t know he’s taking them, like maybe he’s following you at a distance? No never mind, I’m sorry, I was just thinking out loud. That’s a stupid idea. STUPID STUPID ha ha, but definitely the dennis pics, please

      Reply

  3. Dave Janicek
    July 21, 2016 @ 4:34 pm

    Dear Kool Klench-
    Thank you so much for helping. I will begin to take the suggestive/suggested photos as directed. I hope you can accept multiple floppy disks as I am trying to save money on postage.

    just devastated by dennis,
    dave

    Reply

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