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9 Days to SW EP8 – New Sponsor – Midichlorox

Introducing new Midichlorox!

We all know that droids are the same where ever you go
There is good and bad. It’s how they’re programm’d.
We learn to live, when we learn to give
Them orders, so they’ll do what they’re told.

Black droids and white droids work together in bleak servility
Side by side in my Kessel spice mine, Maker, why don’t we?

Black droids, white droids, working in perfect harmony
Black droids, white droids, ooh

 

Midichlorox has heard your prayers!

We know the galaxy is a filthy place. Black droids have it easy! No one sees all that grime and carbon scoring on their dark-colored chassis. Owners of white droids, we hear your cries and we have the answers to your prayers.

Thanks to Midichlorox, you can keep your white droids even whiter. Midichlorox uses our patented Droid Whitening Technology (DWT) to erase the buildup of filth faster than a hot oil bath. Your droid will be so white, it will be singing in a barbershop quartet and playing goalie on a Water Hockey team by the end of the week.

The next time your nerfdwang uncle tells you he wants those droids cleaned up before dinner, rest assured you’ll have all the time in the world to go to Toshi Station and still waste time with your friends.

Just remember, Midichlorox can make your droids whiter, but we can’t make them lighter!

Midichlorox. Keeps Droids Whiter.

Midichlorox will not give your droid the ability to move objects with its “mind”, convince stormtroopers that they aren’t looking for it, FLY (seriously, droids, especially astromechs, cannot gain the ability to fucking FLY), shoot blue lightning from their “hands”, perform mind-boggling acrobatics, or bend the will of weak-minded fools.

It may be tough to keep your white droid its whitest, but you know what is significantly less tough? Entering our contest to win a $100 Fandango Gift Card! And now, here’s a banner to tell you more about it…

One Comment

  1. 0 Days to The Last Jedi! | Hard Cheap Knock
    December 15, 2017 @ 3:18 pm

    […] an idea hit me and I had it turned around in 24 hours: “Rey Mind Trick“, “Midichlorox“, and “Chalmun’s Cantina Sippy Cups” are good examples of this. One post, […]

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